Couple breaks up on patio, receives standing ovation, 5-star Fringe review

TORONTO, ON—Unsuspecting patio-goers received more than they bargained for last Wednesday when they unexpectedly witnessed what they assumed was a Fringe Festival performance: an over-the-top, dramatic breakup between a couple on a rooftop patio. However, it wasn't staged at all, but in fact, very real.

Mark Anderson, 34, a used car salesman's assistant, and Sasha Moore, 31 and an orthodontist, had been arguing for weeks leading up to their epic Fringe-worthy breakup.

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"We were fighting about anything and everything," sniffles Anderson. "Yesterday, Sasha left the box of Lucky Charms open, which is just asking for hard tiny marshmallows. After we fought about that, it just spiraled into a day-long altercation, which led us to the rooftop patio at Tequila Bookworm, where we eventually broke up."

When they stopped screaming at each other, they both managed to throw drinks into each other's faces simultaneously.- Tim Harbour, onlooker

"The fight was embarrassing and completely out of control," explains Moore, shaking her head. "I was so enraged but I couldn't stop, even with everyone's eyes on us. And it became bigger and louder."

"It wasn't until the morning after our breakup, when Mark called me and told me to look online at the most recent Fringe Festival reviews, that I realized just how dramatic our fight was. Because there we were, right at the top: Critic's Pick with 'NNNNN.'"

The review stated that the "show" was "a raw portrayal of a struggling couple who care deeply about Lucky Charms," and featured "incredible breakthrough performances from two unknown actors in their debut play entitled 'Untitled,' directed by 'Unknown.'"

Tim Harbour, 35, a part-time bead store employee and patio patron, recalls his experience.

"I was just fidgeting with my spinner when I heard two people arguing loudly behind me. At first I didn't want to pry, but when I noticed everyone else watching I turned my chair and joined in," said Harbour, adjusting his puka shell necklace. "It was exhilarating to watch. When they stopped screaming at each other, they both managed to throw drinks into each other's faces simultaneously. Then the actors stormed out in separate directions. It was spectacular. The entire patio erupted with applause."

Harbour adds, "I didn't realize theatre could be so dope to watch. I've already told all my bros at the bead store to go check out this play." 

Despite their differences, Anderson and Moore reconciled, which they attribute to the success of their "show."

"We decided to get back together and hit the road with it. I think we've discovered something really special," revealed Moore, giddily clutching Anderson's arm. "And I will continue to leave my boxes of cereal open in hopes of perpetuating some anger within Mark, because who knows – maybe that'll give us a sequel."

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