LGBTQ youth weigh in on coming out in high school amid comments by education minister

When it comes to coming out in high school, Tor La, a youth activist and Grade 10 student in Waterloo region, believes that young people who are afraid of their families finding out should be selective about who they tell in order to stay safe, explaining that it's "your information. You don't have to share that."

"If you don't feel safe enough, you shouldn't force yourself to say your name and pronouns," La told CBC News.

This advice comes amid comments by Ontario Education Minister Stephen Lecce who said that the "province's position" is that school boards disclose the gender identity of trans and non-binary students to their parents. 

"Often there are health implications and I think we have to respect the rights of parents recognizing that these can be life-changing decisions, and I think parents want to be involved so that they can support their kids," Lecce said at a press conference last month. 

"And I think that's a really important principle we must uphold." 

Lecce didn't give any indication that there was legislation to follow when pressed by journalists about it, and left it up to the school board policies. 

As for the policy at the Waterloo Region District School Board (WRDSB) — the group says it respects the privacy of student's gender identity.

"Transgender staff and students and their families have a right to have their confidentiality protected and respected, to self-identification, and for their identity to be included, represented, valued and respected within all aspects of the school and working environment," the policy reads.

'Can even be life-threatening'

In an open letter to Lecce by Pflag Canada York Region — an LGBTQ organization — pushed back against the stance that it is the "parent's right to know" the gender identity of gender non-conforming or transgender students.

"We wish to make our position clear, any attempt to infringe upon the rights to self-determination and disclosure of LGBTQ2IA+ kids and their identities will be met with fierce opposition by our community and allies," the letter read. "It is a mistake to favour a parent's right to know over a queer kid's right to disclose. Few things are more painful for a queer person than the feeling of being forced to come out," the letter said. 

"That is what these policy changes will do; they pressure queer kids to come out to their parents and caregivers before they are ready. For some, regardless of how small the number, this can be life changing. It can even be life-threatening."

Kaden Pitcher, a Grade 12 student, also in the region, is glad that there's no proposed legislation to follow Lecce's comments, but offers similar advice to La about coming out, particularly for LGBTQ students who have a fear of their family finding out.

"I know that some teachers have a really hard time, seemingly to call you one pronoun at school and use another pronoun on the phone or over email or on report cards," Pitcher said.

"So I would go in that direction with caution, you could say."