From Humboldt to N.S.: grieving Canadians create gifts of comfort for families caught in tragedy

A flood of emotions washed over Laura Purje as she sat cooped up in her home in the seaside community of Lawrencetown, N.S., in a province still reeling after the massacre of 22 people.

She reflected on how restrictions imposed due to the COVID-19 pandemic made it difficult to mourn the loss of so many innocent lives taken by a gunman bent on killing.

"It's grief on top of grief and you can't help but just feel very helpless and very at a loss on what to do," she said.

Like so many in Nova Scotia, she felt degrees of connection to the tragedy. Her father, Francis Smith, was a beloved police officer in Amherst, N.S., who had owned a cabin on Hunter Road in West Wentworth, the stretch where three of the victims were murdered during the 13-hour rampage through central Nova Scotia.

Purje is finding peace and purpose in her new COVID-19 hobby, crochet. She's organizing a countrywide effort to send afghans — crocheted bedspreads made from patterned squares of yarn in the colours of the Nova Scotia flag — to the families of the 22 shooting victims and the three survivors.

Stitching together sympathy and solidarity has been woven into the fabric of Canada as a response to major tragedy. The online community of crocheters across the country has come together before to wrap families in comfort.

It did so after the Humboldt Broncos hockey team bus crash in Saskatchewan on April 6, 2018, that killed 16 people and injured 13 others.

Casey Clow-Domenjoz, a Calgary mother of three, worked on the Humboldt afghan project. It took volunteers a year to craft more than a hundred blankets for the Humboldt families and first responders. 

She's offered Purje guidance to organize this latest campaign and mobilized the Facebook group she founded last year, Canadian Crocheters Hooking For a Cause. There are more than 500 members, and the hope is this online army can complete 500 individually crocheted squares.

Each square can take many hours of work, depending on the intricacy. They'll be mailed to Purje to be assembled into bedspreads. The goal is to have them finished within three to six months.

With so many hands involved in each blanket, "it's kind of a like a hug from everyone in Canada saying that we're with you no matter what," said Clow-Domenjoz.

The cross-country hug from caring strangers was felt by Toby Boulet. Months after he and his wife, Bernadine, lost their son, Logan, in the Humboldt bus crash, an afghan in the team colours was delivered to their door in Lethbridge, Alta. 

The couple were overwhelmed with so many handmade gifts and they were shared with relatives who were also suffering.

They kept the afghan and wept at its beauty. It's usually kept tucked away to preserve it until it's time to be displayed. The couple only puts out a few Humboldt items at time to keep the home from being "a sad house."

Among the blanket's patterned squares, Boulet's favourite is in the middle — a raised yellow heart. 

He sighed as he spoke about how he feels connected to the people who poured out their sympathy into something special. "The afghan is heavy. It's the weight of all these people, their love and care put into that project," he said.

The Nova Scotia rampage has ripped open the Humboldt wounds of heartache and anger because of the stark reminders of horrific, sudden and mass tragedy. The Humboldt families have reached out to the Nova Scotia families with an open letter in a newspaper. It's an emotional message.

"Canadians and the world were Humboldt strong for us, and we're Nova Scotia strong," Boulet said, struggling to contain his grief. "You're going to get through this."

He discovered that the Humboldt families each grieved differently, and notes that he still hasn't forgiven the truck driver that crashed into the Humboldt team bus. But they've come together as an extended family to travel the journey of shared trauma and grief. 

He expects that might be the same for the Nova Scotians. During this time of darkness, he suggests they accept the light — the gifts and kindness from strangers.

"Accept it for the love that was made, was put into it," he said.

Organizing a project built around caring is something Purje's father, Const. Francis Smith, who died of cancer in 2011, would have done. He brought programs such as Silent Witness Project, a domestic homicide awareness initiative, to Cumberland Country in northern Nova Scotia.

One of the survivors of the April 18-19 rampage is the shooter's girlfriend. She survived his attack and then hid until police found her the next morning.

Purje said she is a hero who showed strength and bravery to aid police in tracking the gunman. She can't imagine the terror that she must have felt and hopes she feels the support woven into the afghan.

But there will also be a blanket for the parents of the gunman, a difficult decision made by the group, she said. She was moved by an article about how they were devastated and struggling to cope because of the immense atrocity.

"It was important for us to remember that one person's actions do not define the values of a family and doesn't necessarily represent what that family stands for," Purje said.

"They're suffering the loss, too, and that loss is now compounded with just the magnitude of what he did."

Clow-Domenjoz is channelling her sympathy into a special project. She's working on specially designed afghans for the families of three Nova Scotia victims — RCMP Const. Heidi Stevenson, and Alana Jenkins and her partner Sean McLeod, two correctional employees. The bedspreads will incorporate the colours of their uniforms.

It's a form of therapy for Clow-Domenjoz. Her grandfather was from Nova Scotia, and her best friend is a correctional officer.

The squares are stitched with tears because "all of a sudden, just start crying because it's heartbreaking what everyone has gone through," she said.

One pattern is edged in black gradually fading into a pure white centre — a symbol of putting the darkness of the tragedy behind them, she said.

If you are seeking mental health support during this time, here are resources available to Nova Scotians.

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