'I'm just going to die': Non-binary firefighter feared for their life during alleged choking

The complainant in the criminal trial of an Ottawa fire captain and a former firefighter testified Wednesday they thought they were going to die when their colleague allegedly assaulted and choked them at a fire station in Barrhaven.

Ash Weaver, 37, an openly non-binary firefighter who was a rookie at the time of the incident, sobbed in the witness box as they struggled to describe the alleged assault by a bigger, stronger crewmate Eric Einagel.

The incident on the evening of Sept. 14, 2022 began as a dispute over who'd wash the dinner dishes.

"I felt like I couldn't breathe — I couldn't breathe, and I felt my body just relax and I was like, I'm going to f--king die. There's nothing I could do, I'm just going to die. I wasn't strong enough," Weaver told a hushed Ottawa courtroom before Justice Mitchell Hoffman called for an early lunch break.

After the break, Crown lawyer Siobhain Wetscher asked Hoffman to pause the proceedings until Thursday morning because Weaver remained in a highly emotional state and needed more time to regain their composure before continuing their testimony.

The judge agreed.

Einagel, 38, is charged with choking, assault causing bodily harm and harassment by threatening conduct in relation to the incident at Fire Station 47 on Greenbank Road. He was fired after the alleged assault.

Greg Wright, a captain at the same station, is charged with criminal negligence causing bodily harm and threatening to discipline the complainant to prevent them from reporting the incident. He was suspended without pay for three days following an internal investigation.

Rookie felt 'uneasy'

The dispute over who would wash the dinner dishes that night has been described in court as a sort of fire station ritual among junior firefighters who would "compete" to perform menial tasks, thereby demonstrating their eagerness and initiative to their superiors.

In their testimony on Wednesday, however, Weaver described feeling "uneasy" about Einagel's behaviour both on the day of the alleged assault and at times during the "five to seven" shifts the two had worked together on B Platoon at Station 47.

Weaver had arrived there that July, about a month before Einagel. Weaver was on a standard one-year probation at that time.

Weaver testified that Einagel immediately began questioning their gender identity and sexuality in a manner that would often make them feel uncomfortable.

"He was not shy to say right off the bat: 'You confuse me,'" Weaver said. "He would tell me that non-binary is not a real thing and it was just something that recently became popular, and I'm trying to be popular by using it and it's not really who I am."

Weaver, who described themselves in court as "gender non-conforming, gender-neutral non-binary," said they tried to explain their identity to Einagel, but he'd "continually bring it up."

"I tried explaining things," Weaver said. "I'd rather have not done it, but I wanted to get along with everyone on the crew."

Tension boiled over

On the morning of the alleged assault, Weaver said they were heading outside to raise the fire station's three flags when Einagel ripped them from their hands and blocked their path.

"He just kind of stared at me," Weaver said. "He didn't seem happy." 

Weaver said later that day, they joined Einagel, Wright and another firefighter to take the station's pump truck in for maintenance when Einagel, who was driving, started in again.

"Eric was saying how people just hate me for being me, no matter what. They don't know me, they don't need to, they just hate me for who I am," Weaver told the court.

At dinner that night, Weaver said Einagel sat across the table and glared at them with his jaw clenched.

"He was just staring me down, just not touching his food, just staring at me very intensely," Weaver testified. 

Feeling "super uneasy," Weaver said they rose from the table and went to the nearby kitchen sink to start washing the dinner dishes, a chore reserved for the platoon's junior members. Einagel was right behind them.

Weaver testified Einagel threw his own dish into their hands, telling them: "You gotta stop being you. You can't be here. You're not going to survive at this station. I'm so sick of you."

Different accounts of alleged assault

They testified Einagel tried to grab both their wrists and started slamming Weaver into the kitchen counter with his body. Weaver said they got one arm loose and turned to get away, but Einagel grabbed them by the neck.

"He had both of his hands around my neck and he just started squeezing," they said. "He was squeezing so f--king hard."

Weaver said they felt a sharp pain, heard a high-pitched noise and felt their feet leave the ground as Einagel continued to choke and shake them.

Suddenly, firefighter Megan Hills's hands were on their shoulders and she was telling Weaver to "run and hide" from Einagel, Weaver testified before breaking down in the witness box.

Details of Weaver's account of the alleged assault differed greatly from Hills's testimony earlier this week.

Hills, who was standing next to Weaver at the sink, testified she told Weaver to leave the kitchen but not to "run and hide."

Hills also told the court she never heard Einagel utter the remarks Weaver attributed to him, never witnessed Weaver's feet leave the ground, and saw Einagel place only his right hand on Weaver's neck, and only for a second.

Hills also described the scuffle at the kitchen counter as more or less "mutual" until Einagel placed his hand on Weaver's neck.

Becoming a firefighter was 'dream job'

During earlier testimony Wednesday, Weaver told the court they'd grown up across the street from a fire station, and becoming a firefighter had been their "dream job" since at least Grade 8.

"I absolutely love being a firefighter," Weaver said.

The alleged assault wasn't their first frightening experience with Ottawa Fire Services, however. 

Weaver testified that during drill school that spring, "I had found a note in my station pants that said something like: dykes die first in a fire."

Asked by Wetscher how that made them feel, Weaver said they initially chalked it up to someone being "playful," but "parts of me were a little bit scared."

The judge-alone trial continues Thursday morning at the Ontario Court of Justice when Weaver's testimony is expected to resume.