Comedy | It's not Gainer the Gopher's new look that's the problem; it's Saskatchewan's fear of change

As the Saskatchewan Roughriders thrashed the Toronto Argonauts 32-7 at Mosaic Stadium on Canada Day with thunder and lighting delaying the game, another storm swept across the province: the beloved Rider mascot Gainer the Gopher got a makeover, and fans had a breakdown.

Outrage, jokes and memes flooded social media. Some would say the gopher's new face is unique. Others would say he looks like furry Gollum from The Lord of the Rings, if that movie were about an obsession with botox injections. 

Saskatchewan wasn't ready to see their beloved family pet, born in the late 1970s, change. 

If there's anything the province hates, it's change. And mosquitoes. And Winnipeg. But mostly change. 

Heck, Regina only just started filling in a vacant condo hole in our downtown after wondering what could possibly fix the problem for almost 10 years. (It was dirt.)

And now, the plump Gainer we knew and embraced has crawled back down his (equally oversized) gopher hole. 

Sure, new Gainer's manic grin makes him look like if Chewbacca was trying to sell you on a pyramid scheme, but he also looks familiar to me. 

He's the face of the new, younger Saskatchewan. His forced smile is the same one people my age give during the seventh round of a job interview for a temporary gig with no benefits. 

His new kicks are the most expensive thing he owns. 

He's skinny now because all he eats is KD and vape juice. 

He probably can't even afford cable to watch football. 

Face it: the new Gainer is a millennial. 

The old Gainer had his time. Those inky, pupil-less eyes of years past didn't need to focus on anything in particular because high oil prices almost guaranteed him an upper-management position by 30.

And you know the old Gainer doesn't know how to put his phone on silent, even though he's been shown 100 times by younger, patient gophers.

The thing is, Saskatchewan's refusal to move on is a defining feature. That stubbornness is why we once got into a fight with Norway because their moose statue is taller, more handsome and chews with its mouth closed. It's why every first-born child in the province is named Brad Wall or IPSCO. It's why our strip clubs are legally only allowed to show workplace-safety seminars. 

Sure, we can have some fun and point out the new Gainer looks like the Pokemon version of Steve Buscemi, but the truth hits closer to the heart. People want the old Gainer back because it's bittersweet and maybe a little scary to see something you love change. 

But this new Gainer is still our Gainer … even if he looks like a Vancouver hipster who pays for $12 coffees with bitcoin.

This column is part of CBC's Opinion section. For more information about this section, please read this editor's blog and our FAQ.

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