'I thought I would never smile again, but now I am': How do you move forward after your child is murdered?

You can hear the pain in Maria Jones' voice as she recalls the details of the days, months and years after her daughter was murdered.

In 2003, 10-year-old Holly Jones was abducted, sexually assaulted and murdered by a man who is now serving a life sentence for the crime.

"I never thought it would ever happen to me — or our daughter — or any of our kids," Maria tells Piya. Once it did happen to her, she and her family had to learn how to cope.

It's like if you had a disease and you have to live with it- Maria Jones

The Jones family was surrounded by friends and family for a year after Holly's death, which Maria says helped. But it didn't make the pain go away. Both Maria and her husband George, along with their three other children, had to learn to survive with their reality. Maria and George did that first together, then apart and then together again.

The couple travelled, they considered moving out of their home and the neighbourhood that was the site of such a horrific trauma — George has to walk past the street on which Holly was abducted every day, something he "hates" — but Maria tells Piya that, ultimately, it doesn't matter where they live, "This pain goes with us, no matter where we go".

Maria walks an emotional tightrope daily. She has trouble talking about Holly or looking at photographs, because she says it's "too painful." But the family also marks Holly's birthday each year with a cake, and a gathering of friends and family on the anniversary of her death.

Maria describes a "dark hallway" in her mind with a door at the end. If she opens it, she sees how her daughter spent her last moments. So, Maria works to keep that door shut; otherwise, she says she can't function. But she also finds herself needing to make sure Holly isn't forgotten. "She was a big somebody to us but ever since I lost her I wanted her to become a big somebody to everybody," she says.

"As time goes by you do become stronger because you learn how to deal with your pain. It's like if you had a disease and you have to live with it and that's our disease that we have to live with."

Seven years after Holly's murder, Maria and George opened a bed and breakfast that they run out of their home. There are strangers staying in their house, sure, but Maria says she feels safe. Just like in the beginning, she says having people around helps. And keeping busy is part of how she copes.

Holly's two sisters and brother remain close by — and now Maria is a grandmother. 

"I thought I would never smile again, but now I am."